Empty Nest, Full Heart, Lost Connections

Adult children these days get butt hurt and cannot get over it. I blame myself and my husband for coddling our oldest son and making him think the world revolves around him. We didn’t allow him to have confrontation and learn that it is part of life. Well, I thought we did as not all of my kids are not this way. Our oldest grew up in our family and we were not perfect, but we never cut anyone out. Somehow he missed out on the part that family sticks together through thick and thin. Not abuse, but through the good and the bad. Family life is messy.

Having 4 kids, you’d think that our oldest and his wife would understand how messy family life can be. Maybe it won’t hit until their kids get into their teen years. For us, that is where my oldest had his hormone rages and bucked us at every turn. Maybe it will take teenagers for he and his wife to get it. Our oldest was a grumpy teenager. Always mad about something – having to do chores, schoolwork, or helping around the house with anything. At one point he wanted to move out on his own because he hated it here so much. Once we came up with a budget, he realized that he would not be able to finish high school because he would need to work full time to support himself.

He settled a bit once he went off to college, things got better. He came home on breaks, brought his now wife here to meet us. She moved in with us for a few months before they got married and life was fine. As I have written before, things were good through their first several children. We helped. Then they moved in with us for four months. What happened that made them cut us off when they moved out?

We honestly do not know. We didn’t make them pay for anything while they were here. Not even laundry detergent or dish soap. Was it perfect? No. They got on our fucking nerves, but we never raised our voices or kicked them out. It’s family. When they had asked to move in for a bit, I specifically told them that we would all get on each others nerves, but told them that we would get through it because we are family. Just like we didn’t kick a disrespectful, petulant teenager out and cut him off when he was being a complete asshole. Family life is messy.

Somehow, we raised the oldest to be a self-righteous and self-centered jerk. A free loader who uses people and throws them out with the garbage. Just calling it as we see it here at our house. We did something he and his wife are butt hurt over. Somehow they cannot get over their butt hurt and embrace family.

My husband and I are certainly glad that we don’t hold grudges. If we did hold grudges, whew wee………. we’d never speak to the kids again. LOL Does anyone raise children and NOT have issues? Nothing major. Just the normal hormonal crap teens go through where they snap and yell. The normal bullshit when they think they don’t have to follow house rules and call you horrible names when they get pissed when rules are enforced.

So today I call bullshit on these butt hurt assholes. We put up with all of their bullshit for several decades and they expect unconditional love 24/7. As parents we make a few small mistakes and they cut us out forever!? Complete and utter bullshit.

~Evelyn